The Vagueness of UK English

UK people never say what they mean. It’s like the English language was left out in the rain and raised by pub goblins.

ADHD brain

I don’t have ducks in a row.

I have raccoons at a disco, and they only line up when they do the Hustle.

The Trump Presidency: Four Years of ‘Don’t Try This at Home’

A woman at a bakery asked me “is there anything good about a Donald Trump presidency?”

Yes, Melania can call herself First Lady instead of Third Wife.

We have learned how far democracy can bend before it starts making that cracking sound.

He got people reading again. Mostly indictments, but still.

Boston Traffic: A Daily Escape Room No One Escapes.

I don’t know how to explain Boston traffic to outsiders.

Like, I can fly to New York in 45 minutes… but it takes an hour to get from Boston to Boston.

Pope Joke

I don’t know if you are aware, but during the enpopification, the new pontiff gets to choose his drag name.

This season on John Paul’s Drag Race: The Holy Slay, the artist formerly known as Robert Francis Prevost, went with “Pope Leo XIV”

And I’m honestly a little disappointed. He is the first American pope, and he didn’t go with “Pope Jim Bob” or “Pope Bud Lite” or “Pope Dwayne”

“Pope Leo XIV” just sounds like a fat housecat.

The USA is a trashy reality TV show.

And as an American abroad I am like some sort of escaped contestant from a show that keeps getting renewed for another season despite devastatingly low ratings, both domestic and international.

There is no off button, and we are all binge watching it.

America’s Got No Talent. The Real Lowlifes of Washington DC.

Embarassing Bodies. That one works for both congress and the president!

Screw Ball’s Brag Race.

The USA is basically a cross between a car wreck and a dumpster fire, and we can’t take our eyes off it.

And people quite naturally want to talk about what they have seen in the news.

With me, when I am trying to buy bread or enter the office.

But I see the same news as you – I don’t know any more!

I am not some sort of dumpster shaman.

How do you give directions in New England?

Go down past the CVS, turn right at the University and go until you see a Dunkin’ Donuts.