What do you call the creature that sits on your chest at dawn and whispers, ‘Let’s revisit that weird thing you said in 2012’?

Overthinkerbell.

Second star to the right, then spiral til morning.

For our wedding at the registrar’s office, we were told we had to speak the vows.

So to appease the Enforcers of Conjugal Standards and get the Union Mage to sign the scrolls

We wrote one apiece, which makes two total.

This would fulfil the side quest set by the High Cleric and allow us to auto-save the relationship progress.

My partner promised to put down devices at least once a day and listen to me.

I promised to not throw out pieces of electronica even if I think they look like trash.

ADHD brain

I don’t have ducks in a row.

I have raccoons at a disco, and they only line up when they do the Hustle.

Pope Joke

I don’t know if you are aware, but during the enpopification, the new pontiff gets to choose his drag name.

This season on John Paul’s Drag Race: The Holy Slay, the artist formerly known as Robert Francis Prevost, went with “Pope Leo XIV”

And I’m honestly a little disappointed. He is the first American pope, and he didn’t go with “Pope Jim Bob” or “Pope Bud Lite” or “Pope Dwayne”

“Pope Leo XIV” just sounds like a fat housecat.

The USA is a trashy reality TV show.

And as an American abroad I am like some sort of escaped contestant from a show that keeps getting renewed for another season despite devastatingly low ratings, both domestic and international.

There is no off button, and we are all binge watching it.

America’s Got No Talent. The Real Lowlifes of Washington DC.

Embarassing Bodies. That one works for both congress and the president!

Screw Ball’s Brag Race.

The USA is basically a cross between a car wreck and a dumpster fire, and we can’t take our eyes off it.

And people quite naturally want to talk about what they have seen in the news.

With me, when I am trying to buy bread or enter the office.

But I see the same news as you – I don’t know any more!

I am not some sort of dumpster shaman.